Konoha and Oto Are Screwed
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: Sequel to Akatsuki Is Screwed. As Obito and Naruto terrorize the villagers, and Kakashi, with pranks and blackmail, Iruka decides it is time for Sasuke to come home. Sasuke, however, has no plans of making Iruka's job an easier than it has to be. On Hold.
1. Prologue

So many people wanted me to have Naruto and Obito meet as well as Iruka go after Sasuke and bring him back (although Shinigami's Kakashi muse wants to kill me instead) I decided to write this.

Enjoy.

**Warnings: Same as last time (just replace 'seeing the panda cub' with 'watching a panda cub scare the shit out of it's mother by sneezing').**

Prologue

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Kakashi's eyes widened in horror as he took in the sight before him. It was far too terrible to be possible and yet there it, or rather they, were.

Uchiha Obito and Uzumaki Naruto had met.

And they were now sporting identical grins. Oh damn, he was screwed. And so was the rest of the village if Obito managed to get Naruto's story out of the blonde. And he no doubt would.

But you know what was even worse? Naruto only had to get Obito on sugar high and the Uchiha would spill all the secrets about Kakashi that he shouldn't have known in the first place (damn the Uchiha for finding where he kept his diary).

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Iruka was eating lunch at Ichiraku's like usual, when Naruto and Obito ran past laughing; Kakashi following them with a terrified look on his face. Teuchi sighed happily.

"It's good to see Naruto having fun again," he said to Iruka, "He was so depressed with Sasuke in Oto."

The current thoughts going through Iruka's head:

'_Sasuke in Oto equals depressed Naruto. Depressed Naruto equals Iruka failing as big brother. Sasuke back in Konoha equals happy Naruto. Happy Naruto equals Iruka being good big brother._'

Iruka stood up suddenly, making both Teuchi and Ayame jump.

"Iruka-kun?" Ayame asked.

"I'm going to get Sasuke!" Iruka yelled, as he took off. Ayame turned to her father and smiled.

"See. I told you it would work."

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed, handing her a big wad of cash, "Damn brat."

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"Icha Icha?" Obito asked, "Nah! Kakashi doesn't read that crap!"

"Then why does he giggle like a pervert when he reads that book?" Naruto asked him.

"I never said it wasn't porn. I just said it wasn't Icha Icha. That book is his diary, surrounded by an Icha Icha cover."

"His diary?" Naruto deadpanned, "Why would his diary have porn in it?"

"He records everything in that diary!" Obito exclaimed, "Down to the last minute detail. Why do you think so many of his ex-fangirls want to destroy it so badly?"

"Everything?" Naruto asked.

"Yep. How do you think I learned about the pink boxers with the fluffy bunnies on them?"

The two looked at each other and grinned.

"BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!" they yelled together. Kakashi, following from a safe distance, shuddered in horror. Well, shit. That didn't sound too good.

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Iruka made good time to Rice Country – very good time. Then he heard a rumor. Now this rumor had come from Oto and it started off being that 'Orochimaru's new boy toy wanted to kill some Chuunin for taking his revenge from him on the behalf of a blonde haired, whiskered faced boy'. Sometime, before it got to Iruka's ears, several words had been 'misplaced' and it became the rumor Iruka heard: 'Orochimaru wanted to kill some blonde haired, whiskered faced boy'.

Iruka only knew of one blonde haired, whiskered faced boy – Naruto. Orochimaru was _so_ going down.

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Thanks to the following for giving me ideas for this: Shinigami (I offer the to pay for his next three Icha Icha books if your muse promises not to kill me for this story and the last one), Kaze, and Kirallie. I'll have chapter one up whenever I can think of it. Ideas would be helpful. Read and Review please. Smiles!

Rune


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

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Kakashi gulped. Naruto and Obito were talking, or rather Naruto was talking, and Obito's face was getting scarier and scarier as time went by. Oh shit. Looks like Obito finally got the story of Naruto's life out of the blonde. Kakashi gulped again, and was faced with two options.

Option One: Warn every single person that had ever so much as looked at Naruto wrong that Uchiha Obito was going to make them regret being born. Or…

Option Two: Call a temporary truce with Obito, in which Obito would not prank or do anything else to him, and he would help Obito go after every single person that had ever so much as looked at Naruto wrong.

And Kakashi had the list of wrong-doers written down on a scroll in his vest pocket. He took it out, and looked at it. There were hundreds of people on it, each person with at least four things under their name that they did wrong to Naruto. There were even a few people that had up to fifteen things.

Well, that settled it. There was no way in hell he could ever possibly warn all the people on the list that Obito was after them, even if he did use Kage Bunshin. That left Option Two, a truce with Obito. Truce it was. Perhaps he should at least warn the Hokage.

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Several civilians of Konoha, and even a few shinobi, all shivered. For some reason, they all felt like something really, really bad was going to happen to them.

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Having made good time to Rice Country, Iruka thought it would be easy to find Oto, even if it was a hidden ninja village. He was wrong. Not only could he find no trace of Oto, he couldn't find anyone who could point him in the direction of Oto either, or at least not in any one direction.

Someone had told him that it was a few miles north of the town he was currently in. Another person had said that Oto was a few miles south. Another one said there was no whole village, but rather many different outposts. Another person agreed, and said the outposts were hidden underground.

And on the off chance that Oto really was many different outposts, underground or above, who knew exactly which one Sasuke would be hidden at. Iruka sighed.

"This will be harder than I thought," Iruka muttered to himself. But, as proven with his encounters with the Akatsuki, Lady Luck favored Iruka greatly. Iruka just happened to overhear two gossipy women a few tables over talking about a rumor that they had heard earlier.

"Well, Li told me that Orochimaru was going after some whisker-faced blonde boy," Woman One said.

"No, no, no, no, no. Li has it all wrong. It isn't Orochimaru at all. It's that new boy toy of his, Sasuke-kun. And he's not going after any blonde kid," Woman Two said. "He's going after some chuunin from Konoha. See, the chuunin apparently killed Sasuke-kun's elder brother to protect the blonde kid. Sasuke-kun wanted to kill his brother as revenge, but the chuunin took his revenge from him, so now Sasuke wants to kill the chuunin."

"Oh. Now see, that makes sense. Li said something about the blonde kid embarrassing Orochimaru by selling photos of him in a pink tutu."

"Li is insane."

Iruka stopped listening. He had heard what he needed to hear. Why should he go to Sasuke, when, apparently with a little manipulation, he could Sasuke to come to him.

"Okay, this might be easy after all," Iruka told himself, grinning. He finished off his food, paid, and left the diner.

It was time to start a rumor of his own.

Speaking of rumors…it seems Orochimaru wasn't going after Naruto after all. But…

**Flashback**

"And then this snake freak did some seal or whatever and screwed up my chakra," Naruto said between ramen-inhaling-sessions, "but it's okay now, because Ero-Sennin fixed it."

**End Flashback**

…well…there was that…

**Flashback**

The Third Hokage often let fifteen-year-old Iruka sit in his office, to help him with the paperwork. Naturally, because of this, Iruka was privy to things that no other genin were.

"Hello Jiraiya," the third said suddenly, causing Iruka to jump slightly.

"I've got some more information on Orochimaru." Jiraiya skipped right to the point. He was so used to Iruka being in the office by now, that he paid him no attention.

"Oh?"

"He's joined up with an organization called Akatsuki."

**End Flashback**

…and that.

Orochimaru might not be going after Naruto, but he was still going down. Iruka grinned. Perhaps he should do something with a pink tutu. The grin got wider as his imagination went wild.

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"Obito, we need to talk," Kakashi said. Tsunade had said that Obito could stay at the abandoned Uchiha complex or he could stay with his only remaining teammate. Obito happily chose the latter, and would have tried to put hair dye in his shampoo on the first night if he had not trapped everything in his room and bathroom in a paranoid, Obito-prank-proofing frenzy.

"If you even think about stopping me, I'll-" Obito didn't get to finish the sentence because Kakashi put his hand over the Uchiha's mouth.

"Now now, I never said anything about stopping you. I propose a truce. In return for a list of wrongdoers against Naruto, and I assure you the list is long," Kakashi held up the scroll, "and my help against the wrongdoers if at all needed, you don't prank me. No pranks, or stupid tricks from you period."

"Deal. Gimmie the list," Obito said, grabbing the scroll, and opening it to find his first victim.

There, truce accepted. And as long as that list was, Kakashi expected to be prank-free for several months.

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So, Kakashi is relatively prank-free (from Obito) for a while (which I hope is enough for Shinigami's Kakashi muse for now - it's not exactly picking on Sasuke yet), and Iruka is just that much closer from to getting Sasuke back. And, in case this is the only one of my stories you read (or just the first), this is part of a huge update. Not huge as in many chapters for this story (or even a really big chapter), but huge in the fact that I'm updating all my uncompleted ones, all twenty-seven of them. This is number eleven. I still have a lot more to go, so I will go do those one's now.

Read and review, please. Smiles.

Rune


	3. Dreaded Author's Note

To My Readers:

Yes, the dreaded Author's Note rather than an update. As I'm sure you noticed, I haven't updated any of my stories in well over a year, and several of them in well, several years. **I'm not giving them up, but it has been a long time, so here's the deal.**

I'll be slowly but surely moving them to my livejournal account. mchilz (dot) livejournal (dot) com The link will also be up on my profile. My e-mail is also mchilz (at) hotmail (dot) com. I know I've meant to put that in the latest updates, but well, the updates didn't happen.

This allows for two things:

(**One**) I will be able to keep track of when I've updated any fanfics (with fanfic in the title of the post), and will guilt myself into posting if I don't see one at least every two weeks.

(**Two**) I will be able to edit to my heart's content. I easily fix mistakes that I didn't quite catch the first time proof reading. I can also rewrite most of them. If you've read some of my earlier stories and some of my latest ones, you can tell that my writing style has changed a bit.

I've honestly looked back at some of them and thought, _I wrote this? Seriously?_

As soon as each story is done, it will be moved back over here. Not that I'm taking any of the stories down. The chapters already here will just be replaced. In the newest chapters I will have a note in bold at the top saying 'Read from the beginning'.

As for my livejournal, you'll know you're there when you see 'Random Writings' as the heading with 'MChilz' directly under it. On the left hand column, under the title 'FANFICTION LINKS' will be a link to the master fanfiction post (for everything and for each fandom) for easy access.

I update my livejournal a lot with amusing things that my cat or brother did, spiders scaring the crap out of me, writer's block, and every dream I can remember, quite a few of which will likely get turned into fanfiction themselves. So, you'll definitely want to use the fanfiction master post, so you don't get lost.

I will likely continue my updates at Twisting the Hellmouth, as that has different stories then here, but fanficion and mediaminer will have to wait for updates (I've forgotten my password to mediaminer and fictionesque anyway. So as soon as I figure them out, I'll post a similar note there).

Sincerely,

RuneWitchSakura


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